The best conversations happen After Hours. After work, after church, after the club. With the right people, that’s where we find hope in hard places. You might talk about Wordle, why you finally got sober, or that time the daycare left your brother at the circus.
It’s all on the table. Welcome to the neighborhood.
How to know if After Hours is for you:
You’re craving connection and care. Boundaries, emotional health, body movement, mindful media consumption - you don’t have it figured out, but you want to talk about it.
You’re all done with brown-nosing and people-pleasing. Truth-telling is costly, but you’d pay the price every time. (Almost. Cause maybe you want to eat Thanksgiving dinner in peace once a year.)
You don’t need a headline every three sentences because you still read WORDS. Social media one-liners and hot takes don’t give you the deep dive you enjoy and you’re looking for a more nuanced perspective.
Friendship means everything to you. You like to eat with your people, make fun of them because that’s how they feel loved, and show up at 3 am. You also watched all of your friendships change during the pandemic and need to add to your community.
You don’t romanticize the past, idolize people, or take yourself too seriously. Hierarchy isn’t really your jam. Just because somebody is rich (or famous on Tik Tok) doesn’t make them God’s favorite. They gotta wipe their butt like the rest of us.
You mostly live in reality and are sober-minded about people. Because som-a-dem are annoying af. (You are too sometimes, so like Natasha Rothwell, you’re looking for growth.)
People impress you. Not because of their job title or bank account, but because you value curiosity and integrity. Best believe if anyone treats the Waffle House waitress, executive assistant, or sales clerk like they are less than, there will be words.
You root for the underdog, but don’t wish ill on anyone. You get mercy because it flows from your heart. Perplexing as it is, greedy, prideful people are also made in the image of God. Apparently. (Or is it allegedly?)
Speaking of God, theology for regular people is your vibe. You are well-read, connected to culture, and care about people. You make a difference where you are, with what you have, instead of “one day when”. The most generous people usually do.
At After Hours, differing viewpoints are always welcome and necessary. This is not an echo chamber. Trolls, haters, and general rude asses are another story. Zero tolerance policy.
What do you get?
Besides a Mood? Weekly-ish emails on Thursdays. There’ll be a focused theme each month, like making friends as an adult, changing careers, or dealing with toxic people. Good writing, recommendations, relatable stories that encourage you where you are. I like to think of After Hours as an internet neighborhood. A place especially for lonely people, people in a pickle, and people in a pivot. If that sounds right, then I’ll be writing straight to you, and connecting in the comments with community members every post.
Paid subscribers get access to the Creative Corner and the Mentor Monday archives. I have 20 years of sobriety, 15 years of advocacy work, bylines in major publications, a few books, and a rich community that “knew me when”. If you let me upgrade you, you’ll get all the good stuff to help you live and love well.
You should know that I cuss a little, so if that’s a problem, please take your complaints to the comments or messages section of Instagram, like a normal person.
Other things to know: I get personal. My history includes addiction, abortion, sexual assault, and wildly dysfunctional relationships. I’m married with three kids and I’ve lived in NC, NYC, and Los Angeles. My life speaks a story and I let it. That sometimes makes people feel like they have access to me in a way that’s reserved for close friends and family. I’m generous with my life because I love to remind people they are not alone in their struggles. But, it’s important for me to say that I do not owe you anything but decency and kindness.
I’m committed but I can quit at any time. This permission matters to my mental health and sobriety. There are always choices. I’m not stuck. That’s a good soul knowing.
Finally, I advocate for causes. Racial justice, universal childcare, dealing with problems the growing wealth gap is creating - maybe some other things that don’t float your boat. If you’re mildly interested, you’ll still feel at home here because it will be regular, not primary. But if you’re completely anti, don’t let the door hit you on your way out. We’ll be like oil and water. If I wanted that here, I would have stayed on Facebook.
Even though Stephen King says “the road to hell is paved with adverbs”, I’m SO VERY glad you’re here. Put your feet up and stay awhile, neighbor. Mi casa es su casa.
See you After Hours,
Ashley
