Accepting: The Midlife Lighten Up #4
You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope.
I have to begin tonight's writing with gratitude. Your comments, emails, and struggles reminded me how important it is to share our stories. Thank you for sharing. I remember speaking to a local official in Los Angeles, and she said, "I count one constituent calling my office as 300 people. For every person, there are 300 with the same thoughts who will never call me."
I think about that when I write. And when you share. Where there is one, there are many. And when you raise your voice, you offer a glimpse into your story so that others can whisper, I am not alone. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for being here.
It's approaching midnight on the west coast and I'm typing next to my sleeping daughter who is struggling with allergies this week. So this will be short and sweet. For the midlife lighten up, here's what I want you to know:
It is what it is.
What is actually in our control? Little. Who can we change with our meddling? No one (at least not permanently). Who will be blessed by our worry and hurry? Our anxiety only, to be honest, and she does not deserve a blessing.
Accepting that life is what it is, changes our perspective. I used to think that was a negative way of thinking. Something people say when they've given up. What do you mean it is what it is - the world is your oyster! Grab the bull by the horns! Get up and do something! You're in charge of your life and your destiny!
Along the way, that belief system fell apart. It works when you're strong, not when you're weak.
I have accepted that I cannot change anything or anyone, only myself. I have accepted that my life is changing. I have accepted that I am flawed and others are flawed. I have accepted that perfection is a dangling carrot, and if you try and pretend you have it, people will talk about you behind your back and say, "They've got a corncob up their butt. What a stick in the mud."
Your stories, your magical ordinary life, your super gorgeous body, your brilliant, beautiful mind, your stunning loved ones, everything about you is interesting. The invitation before us is acceptance. It is what it is.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite passages from the sermon on the mount. It’s the longest sermon, seriously and I love every word, but this one feels right for tonight.
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.
“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.
“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.
“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.
“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
All the awful, terrible things, all the wtf is this things, turn out to be blessings in the end. God’s face shines upon you, friend. You’re in good company. Let’s keep making good trouble.
Have a beautiful weekend and see you next week,
Ash
In case you missed these:
You might not know I wrote a few books:
Accepting. We must live a good part of life before we are even able to.
Accept that it is what it is :)
I love this passage from the Message, and have read it to many people who needed soulcare, who were at the end of their rope with relationships, who didn't know that God sees them, and who didn't know that they are in good company with many.
It is difficult to "be content with just who you are, no more, no less." The world, people, are never ever satisfied with that! How do we stand when so much comes against us, including our own thoughts when we look in the mirror?
We raise our eyes to Jesus, who told us those words right here in Matthew 5! He is the one who truly knows and sees who we truly are. And He loves us just the way He made us! And He's happy when we look at Him instead of around.
Isn't that wonderful?! Doesn't that matter much more than the relative or collegue or 'friend' who comes against us with hurting words or actions?
Beautifully put Ashley