After Hours in 2023

HNY fam! I love being your internet neighbor.

Happy New Year! We made it to 2023 y’all! Many rivers to cross and we somehow found our way over.

_theblessedone

A post shared by Chris (@_theblessedone)

It’s dumping buckets of rain here in Los Angeles and our yard is flooded for the umpteenth time. I sort of love it but my husband is getting sick of all the soups I’ve made. Moroccan chicken soup (peanut butter in the broth - to die for), beef stew (made from left over pot roast in the dutch oven), family recipe chili… How do you even get sick of soup? I would eat it for lunch and dinner every day for months. With this weather, it’s a miracle I’ve been going to work instead of cuddling up under my blanket eating soup and reading books.

Speaking of books, I’m reading Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow (slow start, sorry, I know it’s beloved) and starting Demon Copperhead, highly recommended by my hubby. I’m finishing Dr. Becky Kennedy’s book, Good Inside and got a sample of the Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible. And I’m finally going to read Celeste Ng’s book, Our Missing Hearts. (Yes, I went to her book signing in Hollywood last Fall and no I haven’t read the book yet. It’s me, I’m the problem.)

I’ve left Twitter for good and I hope that will give me more time to read books instead of tweets, news, and very long articles from The Atlantic. My nervous system is probably very happy about this choice… Anywho, what are you reading? What did you love last year that I need to read? Send me your recs!

As we start a new year at After Hours (and approach the one year anniversary!), it’s been wonderful to review what posts you loved and what posts you didn’t. No one hated anything, and by some other strange miracle, unsubscribing is not a thing here yet. I purposefully didn’t port over a large email list with the hopes that I could really find my people and I want you to know how grateful I am for your presence here.

You matter to me, to us, and I love being your internet neighbor.

Listening to you and hearing from you, I’m planning to aim at a weekly focus this year that looks like this on Thursdays each month:

Week 1: A conversation that changed my life

• Story time! It might be a family member, an Auntie who adopted me, a friend at 2am, a mentor from afar or up close who told me the truth I needed to hear, or a teacher who meant a lot to me. This writing to you will be full of the wisdom that’s shaped me, the stories that saved me, the hope I found in the love of family and friends.

Week 2: Stuff I’m loving + What’s saving my life right now

• Maybe I’ll tell you about how cooking or growing plants or going for walks is helping me cope with life or perhaps I’ll share why you should binge watch season two of White Lotus and obsess over Janelle Monae and Daniel Craig in Knives Out. I might even talk about hash browns and a fight I saw at the Raleigh Waffle House. There will be lightheartedness, lists, and loves.

Week 3: Mentor Monday email for subscribers + Email to my big list

• Here’s the week paid subscribers will get interviews with my mentors, videos from me, or things that are important to me that I’d like to share less broadly on the internet. I may send more than one a month (like now during “meet my mentors” series) and I may not, but I can give you more with less. I’ll also send an email that week to my big ol’ list I built as an author - many of you came with me here and I don’t want you to get double emails from me. I also feel terrible for neglecting that group because I want to use appropriately placed swear words and I’m not sure they’re down for the cause.

Week 4: Human stuff you love to talk about

• It surprised me to learn that my writing on abortion, motherhood and midlife, staying soft in the cruelty of the world, and other similar essays were the ones you loved most. Thank God - I love writing about real challenges we face. (Also, you love when I talk about recipes - that’s so fun for me. Why aren’t you more into plants though?) This week will be about human stuff cause it’s the good stuff - recovery, body image, midlife, relationships, love, and creativity. Will this be my favorite week? Probably.

Of course, because I’m an ornery and capricious writer, I may occasionally make changes to this flow with a pressing topic, guest writer, or some other nonsensical reason like Season 13 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Listen to me: I love to love you baby. You’re alright with me and always on my mind. ($10 Starbucks gift card to the first person who can name all three artists on those songs - I’m serious, let’s go.) I already know you’re not “new year, new you” people, so here’s hoping you’re doing your best and growing more content with who you are, where you are. You are so loved. It’s a joy to be in your orbit.

Let me leave you with this poem Ruben Nuno, a Chicano mystic and hero in the faith, shared on his Instagram this week. It’s beautiful. Hope it does your heart the kind of good it did mine.

I am no longer waiting for
A special occasion;
I burn the best candles on ordinary days.

I am no longer waiting for
The house to be clean;
I fill it with people who understand that
Even dust is sacred.

I am no longer waiting for
Everyone to understand me;
It’s just not their task.

I am no longer waiting for
The perfect children;
My children have their own names
That burn as brightly as any star.

I am no longer waiting for
The other shoe to drop;
It already did, and I survived.

I am no longer waiting for
The time to be right;
The time is always now.

I am no longer waiting for
The mate who will complete me;
I am grateful to be so
Warmly, tenderly held.

I am no longer waiting for
A quiet moment;
My heart can be stilled whenever it is called.

I am no longer waiting for
The world to be at peace;
I unclench my grasp and
Breathe peace in and out.

I am no longer waiting to
Do something great;
Being awake to carry my
Grain of sand is enough.

I am no longer waiting to
Be recognized;
I know that I dance in a holy circle.

I am no longer waiting for
Forgiveness.
I believe, I believe.

— Mary Anne Perrone