I'm cooking a lot these days. Two reasons: 1) Gas is still $6.49, and our property taxes went through the roof, so we need to cut spending. 2) We'd be rich if we stopped ordering Door Dash. Chicken thighs loaded with seasoning and garlic oil in the smoker or stove. The reassuring focus needed to chop heads of cauliflower, broccoli florets, and sweet potatoes. Mexican picadillo to use up Roma tomatoes. Cheese plates, homemade pizzas, sandwiches with my husband's special Italian dressing. (Did he buy a shaker gadget from Amazon to make it? He did.)
You didn't come here for a food blog or a full report on how we're avoiding another trip to Chick-fil-a, but with the holiday this week, a trip to Nashville, and Earth at large, my connection to you will be short and sweet. Cause my word, if I’m honest, I don't know how to process another mass shooting, or a baby wandering through the aftermath, sobbing, while his parents lie dead in the streets. It is outside my wheelhouse to explain this to my children. In what world do eight police shoot a human being (Jayland Walker) 60 times and then cuffed him dead.
It feels impossible to reconcile my rage and hopelessness regarding our elected leader's dogged resistance toward progress. You have one job that our tax money pays you $174,000 a year to do. For the love of God, be adults and govern effectively.
Tomorrow, I'll call Congress. Today, I'll cook.
Cause I want us to stay sane and sober so I thought it might be fun to swap recipes. I'm a trashy baker, but sometimes my creativity in cooking makes a little magical masterpiece. A fantastic life hack and party trick. That's the recipe I want to give you tonight. I'm calling it: Of course, this is a meal, what do you mean?
It is so easy. Here's what you need:
Baguette of any kind
Bag of crunchy kale (not the Tuscan variety)
Stinky Brie
Minced garlic from a jar
Salty butter (why is unsalted even a thing?)
Olive oil, a ridiculous amount
Everything Bagel seasoning*
Here's how you make it:
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Grab a bowl and throw in half the kale if you're using half a baguette or a whole bag if you're using a whole one. Coat the kale in olive oil.
Now, season the hell out of this with bagel seasoning. Listen to me, white people, do not hold back. (Everyone else knows to season properly. Please watch some TikToks and see how they scorn us for our deserved shame. I am using "us" loosely.)
Throw in minced garlic - you do you. I bet we use a tablespoon, more or less.
Use your CLEAN hands and mix it up.
Spread the seasoned kale on a baking sheet and put it in the oven. I have no idea how long you should cook this. When the scent hits my nostrils, I reach in and turn it a bit. Then when it is roasty toasty, I take it out. (Probably 10m, tops. Pay attention while you watch TikTok.) Cause when kale burns, you're hosed.
Get your serrated knife and slice that baguette. Not too thin, not too thick. Melt some butter on the stove and use your kitchen paint brush to slap it on the bread. Pop 'em in the oven for a quick toast.
Move those crostinis to a wooden board or a paper plate (what my grandmother used to call her "fine china" and get to layering.
Slather the Stinky Brie and sprinkle the seasoned kale.
That's it! Your belly will thank you. So will your houseguests. They will stay after hours because you found a way to make kale tasty! Look at you go! You can be like us, add pepperoni or salami, and call it a meal because…
Of course, it's a meal, what do you mean?! Get it?
Okay, your turn! Please share your links to your favorite recipes! Help us budget to afford GAS and TAXES. Curb our takeout spending by enticing us with delicious food we can serve on fine china. Please, and thank you.
Hey neighbor, I love you and I’m so glad you’re here.
P.S. If you haven’t introduced yourself to our community please join this thread!
Loving this cold ramen noodle dish https://themodernproper.com/cold-ramen-noodle-salad
This salmon dish https://themodernproper.com/baked-salmon
Garlic tahini kale salad https://www.eatingbirdfood.com/garlicky-kale/
Ooh, and have been loving this one! https://themodernproper.com/grilled-steak-salad-with-blue-cheese-dressing
Ok, last one, maybe, shallot pasta https://www.alisoneroman.com/recipes/caramelized-shallot-pasta
Jk, this is the last one, but we make it with stew meat cuz umm, budget, https://www.alisoneroman.com/recipes/spiced-braised-short-ribs
I need help/east summer recipe ideas! I’m so overwhelmed by the world it’s hard to make food I like to eat when I also have to feed three other people (two of them picky kids) so . . . It’s hard.
I’ve been making a bit of fresh pesto for myself, putting it on an everything bagel with cream cheese, then topping it with fresh tomatoes and salt and pepper. Sometimes some homemade pickled red onions if I have any.
It’s so good, and if you make the pesto ahead of time it’s not even really cooking. But feels like an actual meal!