Mentor Mondays are the most popular and favorite thing I do on the Internet. I drop a question box into Instagram on Sundays and spend Monday in the DM's and stories answering questions. I love it - if you're new here, I'm taking a few questions to respond to in a longer video. Welcome to my neighborhood - I’m glad you’re here.
Pivot is my middle name. I’ve learned to embrace change. When it comes to career, I’ve done it all. So you can feel better about your situation, here’s a list of my jobs that paid (cause I’ve done many jobs for free, but that’s a whole other Mentor Monday about gender, non-profits, and two-for-ones):
Waitress, age 13-21 (Meadow Greens Country Club, Fish house, Best Burgers in Town, PF Changs, Sagebrush)
Retail (Belk and Lerner NY)
Nanny
Personal and Executive Assistant
At another time, I want to talk about service workers in America and how we treat our underclass with few exceptions. Our economics impact how we move through the world. The intersection of race, class, and gender compounds difficulty and oppression. I didn’t go above the poverty line until my late 20s (which is still early for many - 1/3 of America lives at or below the poverty line). Do you want to hear more about this? What questions or frustrations do you have here?
Outreach Pastor
Writer (9 books as a ghostwriter, freelance articles, two books on my own)
Speaker
Editorial Producer (my current role in writing and most recent pivot last November)
As you can see, I know how to pivot. You probably do too. The days of staying in one place for your entire career died a few generations ago. If you don’t have six minutes to watch right now, here’s the short version:
Accept reality. It is what it is. You can only work with what you have.
Grieve. Life is a series of yes’s and no’s, hellos and goodbyes. Significant gain also means loss. I wish we could escape that, but it’s true.
You are spectacular. Seriously, you are. Just because you lost an opportunity or needed to say yes to something else to make life sustainable, you are not a failure even if you failed. Your gifts, talents, skills, ideas, and contributions are still significant. Remember how wonderful you are in transition.
Pivot by boiling potential overwhelming outcomes down to small, daily decisions. Check out this graph from my friend Chanel Dokun that I reference in the video. (Follow her and get her goods in your feed on the regular.) Her wisdom guides me when I’m sinking under the weight of the world or the tension of transition.
Embrace reality and move forward. BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO GET GOOD. I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, but you’re a badass mofo. You survived a global pandemic. And I survived tips in pennies at Best Burgers in Town and taking turkey bacon back to Whole Foods three times because my boss didn’t like the color.
WE OUT HERE, FAM.
God didn’t bring you this far to leave you, so accept what you can’t change. Change what you cannot accept. (Thank you, Angela Davis.) And remember that you’re not the only one who is an awkward turtle right now. Every human I know is trying to figure out life, money, relationships, community, and career right now. You are not alone. You are loved. And it’s going to be okay.
I love being your neighbor.
Ashley
P.S. These posts will be free for a few months, and then Mentor Monday will be for paid subscribers only. For the cost of your favorite latte every month, I will offer you valuable wisdom you can trust, listen, and respond to you when you share. I'm excited about our time together. If you’d like to see more, join me every week on Instagram.
Mentor Monday: Disappointment