Barbara Brown Taylor asks the question, “What’s saving your life right now?” My list is long so I’ll share just one this week: Fiction. Books open a world of wonder. I like to sink myself deep into the words of another and step away from life for a few.
My emotions have run the gamut listening to Demon Copperhead, and tonight, this little eleven-year-old orphan boy born in Appalachia is running away, hitchhiking his way to Murder Valley. He lands in a doe-colored Caddy and tells his tale. The older, dark-skinned preacher man says, “You never know the hurt in people’s hearts or what they’re liable to do about it if given the chance.”
Well, I’ll be, that’s the truth if I ever heard it.
As I imagined what I’d write to you this evening, I thought about all the things you’ve suffered because of the hurt in people’s hearts and what they were liable to do when they had the chance to do it. It’s painful to suffer through change and loss, sickness and sorrow, betrayal and drift.
I’m sorry for what you might be facing when the lights go out, what weighs heavy on you in the midnight hour, what sits just behind the scurry of work and responsibilities. You are a brave soul. I applaud your courage. Alice Walker wrote in By the Light of My Father’s Smile:
“Truly the suffering is great, here on earth. We blunder along, shredded by our mistakes, bludgeoned by our faults. Not having a clue where the dark path leads us. But on the whole, we stumble along bravely, don't you think?”
I thought I’d leave you with a few comforting truths as you prepare to rest tonight. I hope to remind you that you are loved and that you are not alone.
Sleep is spiritual. Please get as much as you can. Most of us probably are suffering from some degree of adrenal fatigue, so sleep. It’ll all be there when you wake again.
Peace is an inside job. Earth is gonna Earth and people are gonna people. Peace is something we cultivate in spite of circumstances not in the absence of them.
Take the gentle approach. What might happen if instead of treating yourself with condemnation and disgust, you welcomed your weaknesses? Gentleness takes us further in the long run.
Embrace the chaos. God, I want my world ordered and mannerly; it is anything but so I’m learning to let it flow, to expect disruption, and to open my arms to it.
Ask for help. The worst, for some of us, but a worthy task indeed. Dr. Henry Cloud says, “You aren’t alive if you aren’t in need.” It’s okay. You’re worthy of people showing up for you the way you always show up for them.
It won’t always be this way. I know it cause I’ve lived it. Nayyirah Waheed wrote, “I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times and began again in the morning.” (salt.)
Trust yourself. It’s easy to question your instincts in difficulty but lean in and listen. Let your healthy loved ones affirm your decisions and go with your gut.
Get a hobby. Paint, write, walk, bowl, cook, style, plant, file, volunteer, give, advocate, play… do something that makes you come alive and do it often.
Stay connected to a trusted few. You might be tempted to isolate or become consumed with others; either end is unhelpful. Think about the people you trust and love who trust and love you. Stay close, whatever that looks like for you.
You are not alone. God it’s the biggest lie we believe. In some seasons, it might be true - that we are physically alone. I’ve been there but I want you to know that you matter. It matters that you’re here. You are good company. Even when you feel like you’re not at your best, you’re a good time, a good friend. Hold onto the truth that you are loved and even in a time of loneliness, you are not alone. In the country church of my childhood, Pastor Freeman used to say, “You’ve got a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” My sister, Love is close to you.
Sending you grace and peace as you sleep, beloved. I’m so glad you’re here.
Love,
Ashley
You never know the hurt in people's hearts
This list was particularly helpful and Lord knows we need sleep, as much as we can! My book or show is not more important than sleep. Truly a great reminder.
What honestly struck me most was the simple yet needed hobby. A simple hobby that exists for no other reason than to bring me joy and keep me in my body.
I exhaled a sweet, long, sigh of relaxation at the end of this. Thank you; just what I needed.